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When I Forgot What It Felt Like to Not Be “On Duty”
There was a time when I could simply be — quiet, present, unanchored to expectations or responsibilities. Over the years, that sense of being “off duty” faded. Even when I wasn’t working, I felt…
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When I Started Hearing Deadlines Everywhere
There was a time when a deadline felt like a schedule — something to work toward and then let go. But then I noticed a pattern: the sense of being “on the clock” leaked…
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When I Felt Like I Was Always Waiting for the Work to Be “Real”
There were stretches of time when the tasks felt endless but never felt meaningful — like I was living in preparation, pending the moment the work would finally feel “real.” I was moving, answering,…
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When I Began to Confuse Motion with Meaning
There were days when I felt busy, full of movement and activity, and yet by evening I realized I hadn’t created anything that felt meaningful. Motion became its own kind of meaning — answering…
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When I Felt the Work in the Quiet of My Body
The tension began not in my calendar or my thoughts, but in my body. Muscles that never relaxed, shoulders that stayed tight, breath that never quite settled. I didn’t notice it at first —…
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When I Could Feel the Work Before I Even Woke Up
There was a stretch of time when the work didn’t begin when I opened my eyes — it began the moment I woke up. Even before the day had started, my thoughts were already…