Author: Mara Ellison
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What It Feels Like to Be Good at a Job That’s Slowly Breaking You
Being competent felt reassuring at first. Then it started feeling like the thing that kept me trapped. When people say “you’re good at your job,” it usually lands as a compliment — something that…
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How Workplace Gender Conversations Made Me Second-Guess Everything I Say
It wasn’t one conversation. It was the accumulation of them. I didn’t notice it happening at first. There was no single meeting or announcement that changed how I spoke. It was gradual, layered, almost…
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How Always Being Flexible Made Me Feel Disposable
Flexibility used to feel like adaptability. Then it started feeling like I could be reshaped anytime someone needed it. I used to think flexibility was a strength — a capacity to adjust, pivot, adapt,…
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Why I Pretend to Be Fine With Last-Minute Deadlines
It’s not that the deadlines themselves are surprising — it’s that the internal cost of meeting them never shows up in the moment I pretend I’m fine. Last-minute deadlines used to be like small…
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What It’s Like When Your Work Ethic Becomes a Trap
It wasn’t that my work ethic changed. It was that the way it was received changed how it lived inside me. I used to think of work ethic as something I could wear lightly…
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Why Learning New Pronouns Feels More Stressful Than I Expected
Adjustment wasn’t supposed to feel heavy — but it did, quietly, in the spaces between everyday conversations. I never thought learning pronouns would feel like learning a new language, but that’s exactly how it…
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Why I Stopped Volunteering for Anything Extra at Work
It didn’t start with burnout. It started with noticing that “extra” no longer felt optional — it felt like default territory no one cared to define. I used to raise my hand for things…
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What It’s Like Being Expected to Adjust Without Asking Questions
It never felt like a directive, but the expectation wasn’t exactly optional either. I noticed it first in conversations that weren’t about gender at all. We’d be discussing deadlines, deliverables, or upcoming events, and…
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What Happens When You’re Always Filling Gaps No One Acknowledges
It doesn’t feel like official responsibility. It feels like the invisible work no one remembers to mention. At first, filling gaps didn’t feel like work at all. It felt like attentiveness — noticing what…
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Why I Feel Anxious Every Time Pronouns Come Up in Meetings
It isn’t the topic itself — it’s the subtle tension that swells beneath the surface of ordinary conversations. Pronouns used to be something I barely noticed. They were a functional part of speech, a…